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Vlad to Jinping: “Comrade! about that Taiwan thingy…”
Transcript* of Meeting between Vlad and Jinping held on Friday 4 February, 2022.
Vlad: “Jinping, Comrade, tavaritsj, my good friend, about that Taiwan thingy… you are going to do something about it right? I understand completely. It is your territory after all. Now listen here my great comrade. Here’s the thing. I am going to invade Ukraine.
Ahhh, I knew you would keep listening instead of reacting like those dumb Westerners do. They always have to react immediately. They are jerks. Knee-jerks. Ahahaha, you see what I am doing here? Ok, I don’t see whether you do or you don’t. That’s because you are a great wise man. Impenetrable. Love you. Ok, back to my story.
I invade Ukraine, and that is a great thing for you, as I am sure you appreciate. The West will be in shambolics about my invasion and they would have no clue about how to react. They will try to sanction me, but they are incapable of making a unified decision let alone act in unison. That’s the weakness of democracy. You and I, ol’ chum, we are strong leaders and our apparatchiks follow our nudges as if they were orders on which their lives depended. Hahaha. Which they do! Hahaha! Not funny? Ok. Excuse me. We Russian leaders are known for having such a penchant for humor that sometimes it…
